Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Oh man..

Ever since I said yes, I have not been the same. I've been worrying more than I should. The lack of communication has been stressing me out. If you were going to be so uptight with your chaotic schedule, why did you suddenly decide to ask me to be your girlfriend? You should have probably thought about us first, before you jumped into any conclusions. I'm trying to communicate with you each and every day since day one, yet I get no replies. I really do not know how you're living your life right now. Most definitely unsure if you think this whole relationship is a joke. If you'd actually cared, you would have done what you did a few months ago & actually call me for once. To actually show that you are interested in me and that you'll always keep me updated. What happened, dear? Am I less important now? Am I buried underneath all these lies and excuses?

You tell me that I should go with the flow, to push things aside, & to stop over-thinking. Oh honey, how can I not? It's extremely difficult to not assume when you're never talking to me. It hurts. You may not see the pain I'm going through, because I actually put effort into this relationship. What can I say? I'm just here for support. Everyone has their time with you, but when am I going to ever have time with you? I mean, I don't mind being so distant from you, but I do mind the communication. What's the whole point of this without communication?

If things continue to flow by like this, I don't know how much pain I can take. It's barely the fourth day too! Nine months of talking & it already felt like we were already in a relationship. I'm not going to lie, I'm not happy right now. Everything is just a mess. It also breaks my hurt to hear that you weren't going to give in. You have no faith in me nor us & I do. Huge difference. It shows that you don't care at all. I'm tired of breaking down. Change? Si, se puede. Doubts? No more. Just inner thoughts & emotions. Rage? Too much to handle. Understanding girlfriend? I'm trying my damn hardest. Missing you? Every damn day.

When you read this, listen to Joss Stone - 4 & 20. Tick tock.Time's a wastin`.

Blogging is definitely easier than holding onto emotions.

1 comment:

  1. Keep your head up. Even though he's not communicating with you, try to stay strong and stay positive no matter how much it hurts. At least you're trying. Trying is better then not doing anything about it at all (:

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