Let This Be MY Love Letter To You

Cousin Cairo IMed me on Facebook just a few minutes ago & we started chatting about life. This is what led me to Blogspot. Our conversation made me reminisce about the past & really? I didn't want to even consider thinking about it, but I did. Because I did, I came up with this conclusion:

You made me happy. You really did. The things that you've done for me, the stunts that you've pulled, the sweetest talks we've ever had made me smile. Kudos for that, because for once, I felt like I was on top of the world. However, because of what had just recently happened, I am disappointed. I thought that maybe we would have had a future together, but hey? That's a little too far! You made me think twice about us and the feelings I had towards you. Believe me, I did not want to let you in my heart, because I couldn't possibly trust you at the time. As time went by, I began seeing who you "really were", so I let you in my heart. I finally let you in, because I was ready to fall for you. Being so unaware of it all, who would have known you would step all over it? You said that you would never hurt me & that you would be there to wipe that tear off of my face? But in reality, the person who hurt me the most was you.


I know that you're beginning to lose me & vice versa. I hate knowing that you and I won't be able to communicate until years later. See, I hate not knowing what the fuck you're up to, but I guess that's how break ups usually work. I hate how Nothing On You - B.O.B comes up on the radio every day, because you told me that the other girls got nothing on me, so I don't have anything to worry about. I hate how you told me that I Think Of You - Taj Jackson reminds you of me. I hate knowing that My Boo - Usher Ft. Alicia Keys will always be true in our relationship. I hate listening to Best I Ever Had - Drake, because you were the best I ever had. I hate how you were my first boyfriend and you will always be remembered. I hate how you wrote me that poem and looking at it everyday melts my heart. I hate how our chapter storybook/novel ended so soon. However, I love how you walked to my house just to stay with me for the night. I love how you surprised me with 3 roses, a teddy bear, & a poem for Valentine's day. I love how you always knew how to make me smile. I love how you're always so sweet to me even when you had the worst of days. I love how you ended 2009 with a spark and started 2010 with a fresh kick of romance. I love how you encountered many obstacles and still managed to show up in front of my house. It was all worth it. You were worth it, but shit happens. It saddens me to know that I know this was my last chance with you, because I know that you and I can never work after what had happened. You broke my heart & I don't know if I can ever trust you with my heart anymore.

You moved on. I moved on and I'm actually happy with where I'm at. & you know what? Those girls that are falling for you, you're damn right! They GOT nothing on me. I'm not one of those Glendale girls. None of those bullshit drama queens that you have to deal with. I never gave you any troubles or anything until I felt neglected by you. I'm not one of those girls that would stay for appearances, because I do listen to you. I'm here for you. Here for your miseries, for the hardship times, and for your support. I still am here for you & I put my foot on it. If you think letting me go was a mistake, best believe it was a mistake! I was infatuated. I was ready to commit. I was up for our fun-filled adventures. I cared. I still care. If you think you can find someone better, good luck with that, because you lost me. & It still kills me. Let this be my learning experience for future references. FML.

Let this be my love letter to you...

Other than that, 2 more days until Friday! & what?! Marifel works @ LHTP now. (: